Tag Archives: Self Development

Pengisolasian Diri & Kedalaman Ruang Kontemplasi Tanpa Batas: Kehidupan Sebagai Seorang Spiritualis

Pagi ini saya terbangun dari tidur yang terjaga. Tidur yang meletakkan pusat perhatian hanya dalam merasakan nafas. Sebuah konsekuensi yang harus ditanggung ketika selesai mengonsumsi crmth.

Saya telah melanggar Dhamma, sila buddhis ke-lima. Saya telah memasukkan kembali racun ke dalam tubuh dan membiarkan pikiran bermain dengan pemikirannya. Sebuah permainan yang cukup membuat kehidupan manusia amat beragam warna dan tak kunjung usai pula membuat mereka terperangkap dalam permainan yang mereka ciptakan sendiri.

Entah apa yang saya cari kembali dalam menggabungkan narkose dan kedalaman kebenaran semesta. Sebagai seorang spiritualis, bisa jadi saya hanya mencari penderitaan itu. Bayangkan, ketika kamu mengonsumsi crmth , maka dalam jangka waktu satu sampai dua jam, hidup terasa semakin menyenangkan. Perasaan untuk bersyukur telah berkali-kali lipat jumlahnya. Kamu akan merasakan kebahagiaan itu, sensasi jangka pendek kasih sayang yang kamu berikan pada jiwa dan raga sendiri. Setelah itu? Tergantung kemana kamu membawa diri; Menjadi tuan atau budak pikiran akan menjadi amat sangat sulit dibedakan. Contohnya begini, bisa jadi dua menit pertama kamu akan terbawa afirmasi positif yang sengaja ditanamkan –atau malah sebenarnya hanya merupakan pelarian dari ketakutan terhadap keadaan– lalu menit berikutnya kamu kembali ke dalam kenegatifan yang semakin menjadi dari yang sebelumnya, dan jikalau saja kondisi kesadaran yang dimiliki sudah tinggi, kamu akan menemukan satu titik yang menjelaskan bahwa keduanya berasal dari sumber yang sama.

Kericuhan yang membabi buta (campur aduk segala bentuk rupa emosi) di dalam diri itulah satu-satunya kemungkinan yang membawa saya kembali ke dalam arena pertarungan alam bawah sadar. Segala kemudian saya telan bulat-bulat sendiri.

Hingga akhirnya mendarat di atas tempat tidur yang telah lama menemani tubuh, yang sering merasa kelelahan, menghadapi realita fana (ilusi) ini sepanjang waktu. Namun sayangnya, sejak kemarin malam ia menolak untuk menjadi seperti biasa. Ia enggan untuk beristirahat sepenuhnya. Saya berteriak sekencang-kencangnya pada segala penjuru di dalam hati: “TIDURLAH, TIDURLAH!” adalah dua kata yang tak kunjung usai untuk diserukan. Tiada jua yang bisa dilakukan. Semakin saya melawan, semakin ia memberi rasa penderitaan sejajar dengan kegelisahan dalam jumlah yang lebih lagi.

“Pilihannya cuma satu, menyerahlah terhadap keadaan,” bisik saya pada ego yang mengedepankan dirinya sendiri.

Setelah mengunci pintu kamar dan menyerah terhadap keadaan, saya kemudian masuk ke kedalaman ruang kontemplasi tanpa batas yang sengaja diciptakan; Menjadi observator pemikiran yang lalu lalang, melepas rasa rindu pada dua dalam satu kesatuan diri, mencari ujung-ujung kebenaran atau malah mengingatkan kebenaran itu berulang-ulang kali kembali.

Saya menangis. Rasa-rasanya saya ingin mencintai segala. Saya ingin mencintai anjing-anjing liar berkudis di tengah jalan, pada manusia-manusia yang paling jahat sekalipun, atau bahkan debu, juga keheningan dalam sepi yang seringkali mengganggu manusia. Ya, segala.

Kesepian itu mutlak. Mau kamu berdua dengan pasangan, atau anak-cucu.

Namun kesendirian dan kesunyian itu adalah hal yang sakral.

Kesepian (loneliness) tidak identik dengan kesunyian (solitude). Dalam kesunyian, manusia sesungguhnya menjadi dua, Aku dan Diriku. Arendt menyebut keadaan ini sebagai “dua dalam satu (two in one)”. Oleh karena itu, dalam kesunyian, manusia (Aku) masih mempunyai teman untuk berdialog, yaitu Diriku. Dialog pada “dua dalam satu” tidak kehilangan hubungan dengan dunia sesama, karena Diriku merupakan perwakilan dari dunia. Kesunyian dapat menjadi kesepian, jika Aku ditinggalkan oleh Diriku (Arendt, 1985:174).

Sampai detik ini. Sampai usia tak kunjung lelah menunggu senja, dan waktu yang dengan cepat ia berlalu, saya masih berdiam diri. Saya menghukum diri dengan mutih karena saya telah melanggar dhamma. Mutih itu adalah salah satu di antara banyak cara untuk menyerahkan seluruh diri pada yang maha kuasa. Saya ingin mematikan Aku dalam Diriku dan menjadi Kami. Lalu inilah yang mereka sebut sebagai cinta sejati. Cinta yang tak dikuasai oleh nafsu. Cinta yang begitu bening dan indah dengan kemurniannya. Cinta yang tak menginginkan sebuah keterikatan. Dan pada akhirnya yang tersisa hanyalah cinta, yang mencintai cinta.

Terima kasih, Luka.

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Platonic Love; A Love That Doesn’t Hurt

We have suffered for a long time to think about the end of a relationship as a failure. We blame ourselves, or our partners, or both. There comes a time when we finally recover from our miserable time, we search for a new partner afterwards; in hoping that this new relationship won’t fail us again or we won’t fail the relationship. The truth is the hope will be unfounded because we have no real understanding of what has been reached, and nothing would ensure the failure won’t repeat itself.

Plato stated that humans are constructed in three planes; Soma (body), Psiche (soul), and Nous (divine consciousness or spirit). These three dimensions –physical, psychological, and spiritual– are actually required for our journey in understanding true love.

Platonic Love

In its original state, our soul lived among the gods, enjoying the true being of eternal forms. As they become human beings, most souls forget their divine origin. In all three dimensions, humans naturally search for completeness and eternity, because as divine creatures, we would have an innate wish to return to our original state – the state of union with God. Aristophanes himself had explained to us that love is our search for our alter ego, a part of us that will make us whole again. Love is then, the force that moves human towards this original condition.

What most people don’t understand is that they cannot both hold the definition of love and expect human being to fulfill it. I’m sorry, my friend, we can only get more disappointed with it. What we need to understand first is the human construction based on what Plato had said that we, humans, always crave for the physical plane more than anything without realizing and considering other planes. We have known in physical plane, we search for the beautiful Forms (ideas in mind), but we often forget the other. I could say that in order to get the fully understanding of true love, we might not only focusing on it, because in a higher realm (psychological plane), we also have a natural tendency to search for the divine and should feel impelled towards virtuous people in order to give birth to moral virtues and spread the seeds of eternity by building projects and reaching objectives that will leave a trace of our existence. And in the highest of three dimensions which is spiritual plane, love appears as the most important thing that pushes everything back to unity (the original state).

Plato had taught us that love is desire for the perpetual possession of the good. Desire happens because we want to possess something good, something beauty. What is truly beautiful must be good and what is truly good must be beautiful. To the Greeks, beauty was a function of harmony; it arose from harmonious relationship between parts that couldn’t cohere unless they were good for one another. Thus Socrates modifies his earlier definition that to love beauty is to wish to bring forth in beauty. To possess it perpetually would be to re-create endlessly. Consequently, love must by its very nature be the love of immortality as well as the beautiful.

From this perspective, it’s easy to identify the reasons behind our unhappy relationships. True love as Plato defended, is when one finds another person whom he or she can manifest love in all three levels of existence and feel fulfilled in all three dimensions.

In my own understanding, platonic love doesn’t mean sexless love. Rather, it means love that is not only commanded by instincts, not governed to satisfy only the body, but a kind of love that also fulfills the spiritual needs, which is be the reason why most of our relationships ended the worst; we often forget that this kind of love transcends the boundaries of the material life.

Platonic Love itself occurs when one realized the beautiful of other person inspires the mind and the soul and it directs one’s attention to the higher things.

This is what matters most in this life; A love that transcends.

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Are We Losing The Art Of Listening?

Most of us tend to listen on what we want to listen, not what the other person is trying to communicate with us. We don’t realize how great and beautiful thing that listening is. We forget it. We do not listen to our family, our friends; to those who you love or love you and least of all, which is so important, to those we do not love.

Are we losing the art of listening? No, we are not. We have not yet lost the art of listening. We just need one moment, one deep breath; one little reflection to get us reminded how great and beautiful it is to completely keeping up with it.

 

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I usually do people-watching thing whenever I’m alone outside. I saw many good men go down into a slow decline of hopelessness. They are broken as their vision of a decent life was broken. I saw them walking aimlessly upon the streets, their eyes empty like shards of broken glass. I didn’t give voice to this kind of awareness, but the knowledge of common misery touched me and changed me in ways that were hidden deep from the public view. I listened to their broken sounds in silence. As it always, silence always penetrates me.

Remember, it is not enough to just listen to them.  One must really listen, with a deep, steady gaze, and sparkling eyes. I always keep reminding myself to listen with affection to anyone who talks to me, to be in their shoes when they talk, to try to know and understand them without any kind intention to judge, pressing against theirs, or arguing, even changing the subject. Only when we do this the magic begins.

These people, they actually need nothing from the external world but love. And listening is love. That is what it really is.  Unless you listen, you can’t know anybody. You might read facts and what is it in books, newspapers, articles on the internet, all of history, and anything you like, but one thing for sure, you will not know a single person. You will never understand what love is. You only can to understand what love is by the very first step of living which is giving. By the time you listen, you give them your time, your attention, your space, and perhaps, your life. And by loving others, you give the same amount of love to yourself too at the same time.

The loneliest people on earth are the ones who unable to listen. And the most serious problem of not listening is the worst thing that happens in human life, boredom; for it’s really the death of love. It isolates people off from each other more than any other thing.

Try to listen and feel the different beneath the surface of your skin. When you start to listen, you begin to hear not only their words; you may also feel the texture of the words, each word with joy and sorrow, and the breath behind the words; the emotional feelings and the story that are waiting to unfold.

Be fully present, be sensitive to what is being said because sometimes those you’re with don’t need you to say a word and the only response might be to just listen with affection, and yes, don’t forget to hold your tongue. Be fully alert and stay calm.

You might have no solitude, run to many errands, talk to many people, drink too many alcohols, but this little fountain is muddied over and covered with a lot of debris.

Try to listen to yourself too. The most sacred spaces I have are spent in moments of meditation, as I examine my soul with all of its imperfections.

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