Category Archives: Personal

Kindness Is Underrated

Due to the Hawking news, this afternoon… and the first fight she and her had last night.

She finally came to a new insight of life that… huft.

She used to set a high standard for whom she can fuck or get-baper with. Above all, what is it on their mind because our brain needs to be entertained all the time. We think we need an intellect partner so we won’t run out of topic in convos.

But no. It never seemed enough. Never. We always think if we deserve more.

She then came to a point that “sapiosexual” term is overrated. Oh, sure, go ahead. She had been with who we’ve called real intellect. Most of them are nothing but a bunch arrogant with narcissistic personality disorder.

And she is exhausted by the haunt of craving and desire for something more. We all are.

She knew that her lover is an intellect yet she never once thought that her lover, at the same time, is a true introvert. She pushed her too far to speak of something. She forgot that silence is the most beautiful thing.

It was her fault to crave for more two-way communications. The truth, she forgot how to appreciate the other form of her beauty. She was possessed by the craving of convos to make her feel content, knowing that she barely have a real convo with people when she herself is a loner. But it doesn’t work that way.

You don’t need a non-stop intellectual or fascinating convo with your lover.

You love, that is your responsibility.

Feeding your too-much-egos, that isn’t your lover responsibility.

We seriously need to distinguish true love and oh-so-called-love from being-egocentric but with being selfless more.

Then she finally came to her new insight of life.

“What is it that warms and moves your heart peacefully which prettier than intellectual capacity?

A heart made of gold. The one who always forgives. The one who understands. The one who accepts.

Kindness.

Kindness is underrated.

It is.”

Advertisements

Keseimbangan

Jika kau adalah yin, maka aku wajib menjadi yang.

Jika kau serupa gaungan id dengan kedestruktifannya, aku lekas menjadi superego,
dan kita bercumbu di pusat
ego.

Jika kau lantas bersubmisif, akulah sang dominan penunjuk arah.

Jika kau menjelma logika, biar aku menjabat rasa.

Jika kau selaku gelap, aku mestilah sang terang.

Kita mesti “seimbang”, agar tak “goyang”.

Aturan untuk kutub-kutub magnet lantas berbunyi: Kutub-kutub senama akan tolak-menolak dan kutub-kutub tidak senama akan tarikmenarik.
Jika dua kutub utara saling didekatkan, kedua kutub tersebut akan tolak-menolak.
Demikian juga halnya jika dua kutub selatan saling didekatkan.

Lantaran yang telah dibangun,
sepatutnya dirawat dengan sungguh-sungguh.

Dengan secangkir kopi murahan yang masih dapat dinikmati dengan kesederhanaan, berdua menjaga nurani adalah tanggungjawab penuh,
agar jiwa enggan lagi berpeluh.

Tak boleh kita sama-sama menukik ke utara. Habislah segala. Muncullah berhala.
Tak boleh kita sama-sama turun ke selatan.
Hancurlah semua. Meraba-raba jalan yang ada.
Lalu kita menjadi tiada.

Asmara jangan biarkan lebur dalam api sengsara.
Tidak merasa cukupkah kita dengan yang sudah-sudah?
Cinta biarlah belajar tentang dirinya meski harus gagal berulang-ulang.

Sebab belajar mencintaimu telah menuntunku untuk “pulang”.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Her Name is She

“You do kindness so people can like you more, isn’t it?” M pulled the words outside and punched em right in front of her face. She kept her stillness in silence. She ain’t got no time to waste more energy in an endless debating moment that would lead em to nowhere.

As long as the unspoken words lingered in her mind like the scent of motherhood she never once tasted in life, it was only love that remained in her. Only Love. Because as she told you once, parts of her apart from her already. Pretending like the root was there, what she knew was, she wouldn’t mind to plant the seeds of what-still-remained-in-her so it could grow somewhere else.
Let a thousand flowers bloom.

She had chosen to let go as a form of acceptance and surrender. She had lost either the tangible or the intangible ones. With certainty, she was ready enough to not being afraid of losing for more. Because she chose to let go of
Everything:
The suffering. The happiness. The numb feeling. The chaos. All kinda emotions she could absorb. The dreams. The warm memories. Hymen she gave up for a total stranger with consideration. The pain she had always had while she was missing her family. The past lovers that once had suffered by her existence so they could be happy. The world she had lived in. Life. The forgiveness.
Herself.

Nothingness is indeed less than nothing. Nothingness is something.

Tagged , ,

Tabula Rasa

Processed with VSCO with 3 preset

 

di atas seprai putih, pula malam merebah lelah kuasa

kau dan aku mengabdi pada tabula rasa

 

menindih elegi dengan kecup bibir berapatis

dan geming yang bercengkerama

melupa amarah berbalik tanya

kapan kita pernah reda?

sebab tatkala tumbuh hendak memulai

hanya ada aku padamu

sedang kau patah dahan asa hingga terkulai

 

siapa paling tahu dalam senyap?

jawab!

 

mungkin aku hanya seonggok sia

dipungut kala kau menjadi segala nyeri

hingga senja usai kembali mendepak

aku sisa teriak

 

di atas seprai putih, kini malam kian mesra

aku sepi menjalin angkara

melebur esa

mereda nestapa

 

moksa.

 

Advertisements